About joe

This author has not yet written his bio.
Meanwhile let's just say that we are proud joe contributed with 10 entries.

Entries by joe

Dear Superdad …

Dear Superdad …

It really doesn’t matter whether you remember Superman as the black and white TV version, Christopher Reeve, or even this new guy from Man of Steele whose name I am truthfully too lazy to even look up. However, Superman is a timeless figure in American culture of strength, honor, and laser beam eyes. Yet, I always wondered, “Why didn’t he have kids?”

Clearly he was getting it on with Lois Lane!

Perhaps the biology of two alien species made it impossible, but don’t be sad for Superman. While he may not have had kids, Superman lives on in the hearts of us […]

Memorial Day’s Long Bright Shadow

Memorial Day’s Long Bright Shadow

I am a Marine Veteran of Iraq.

I have watched young brave heroes breathe their last heartbreaking breath thousands of miles away from home. This ultimate sacrifice is a heavy price to pay for our freedom, but it’s one we recognize as worth it in order to preserve and defend the promise of American freedom and democratic principles.

However, since becoming a Marine, I’ve observed a seemingly minor but common mistake people make every Memorial Day. Well-meaning folks heap their grateful thanks on living veterans rather than memorializing the fallen. Some veterans will inform the ignorant of their error. Most will politely […]

Dear Mom …

Dear Mom …

Dear Mom,

Today, on this very special Mother’s Day, I just want to you know from the bottom of my heart that I am really curious about what you plan to do with all your stuff when you die.

Love,

Your Adoring Child

Worst Mother’s Day Card Ever?

Honestly! Who would ever say something like this?

Well, if you’re any kind of a decent and responsible child, your answer should be “ME!”

WHAT?

OK, granted your Mother’s Day card may not be the best approach, but this seemingly abrasive question is NOT without merit.

Bottom line? Moms have stuff. They have collectible stuff, practical stuff, heirloom stuff, monetary stuff, […]

10,273 Facebook Users Die Everyday

10,273 Facebook Users Die Everyday

Yes, it’s true. And you can bet many of them didn’t see it coming.

Let that sink in for a minute. Every day, the equivalent of a small town from the Facebook population kicks the bucket – never to like a cute kitten meme ever again. At the rate things are going, the number of dead Facebook users will soon outnumber the living.

Will your Facebook profile become zombie food?

OK. The show The Walking Dead isn’t exactly real life (I mean if a rural cop like Rick can survive, where are all the Navy Seals?). But (in its super creepy awesomeness) it […]

Buying a House the Kids Will Inherit

Buying a House the Kids Will Inherit

Technically, I should title this “Soon I will be buying a house the kids will inherit.” I am only 36 years old and am the semi-proud owner of 2 houses. You must think I am rolling in the dough to own 2 homes, but I assure you that neither is a summer house in the Hamptons. And to be honest, even if I could buy a house in the Hamptons, I probably wouldn’t because I am insufficiently experienced in socializing with rich people. Partly because I am just not rich and partly because security always stops me when I jump […]

Is a Funny Death Too Much to Ask?

Is a Funny Death Too Much to Ask?

One thing I know is that I want to leave them laughing.

I used to have a specific idea about what happens after someone dies. And it always played out the same way in my head. Everyone wearing all black piles in to an attorney’s office. There is always one lady with an oversized hat sitting on the front row slightly sobbing. The attorney somberly reads the will and a fight ensues. But then it turns out that a lady lurking in the back is actually the dead guy’s mistress and she gets everything! Yeah, I watch too many movies.

OK. So […]

Aim Higher This Valentine’s

Aim Higher This Valentine’s

It’s almost here!!!

That wonderful day smack dab between the 17 days you almost actually stuck to your New Year’s resolutions and St. Patrick’s Day, when you totally forget about resolutions.

(17 days? Hey, that’s a new record for most people!)

But before you go diving mouth-first into a heart shaped box of chocolates, let’s talk about how much you’re NOT going to blow it this year. Let’s talk about the true sentiment of Valentine’s Day.

It is not about overpriced roses. Or about a flying diaper baby with weaponry slung around its wee little chest. It is definitely not about mowing down everything […]

5 Ways To Help Aging Parents

5 Ways To Help Aging Parents

Remember when you were young and cool?

Your parents did gobs of things you thought were nerdy. Why? Because they were old and you were young.

It was your job to be the arbiter of cool.

But here’s the thing. They weren’t really old. They were probably younger than you are right now. Yikes, huh?

And here’s the other thing. And this is the BIG thing. Now your parents actually ARE old.

While some of our more ‘seasoned citizens’ keep on rocking well past what many consider their prime (like the elder George Bush celebrating his 90th birthday by skydiving) your not-quite-Presidential parents have […]

The Price of Growing Up

The Price of Growing Up

I never thought about dying when I was younger. I don’t mean just when I was a kid, because what kid walks around consumed with death. I mean even as a young adult in my 20’s I felt pretty darn invincible. Again, you might think that’s no big deal, but let me go ahead and clue you in on the fact that in my 20’s I was a Marine Infantryman patrolling the streets of Iraq. And yet still, I wasn’t worried about dying despite death chasing me at every crowded street. But now that I am all “grown up”, it […]

The Super Bowl as a Lesson in Death Planning

The Super Bowl as a Lesson in Death Planning

Dung stuff happens. Seriously. Bad, unexpected things happen. And sometimes it happens smack dab in the middle of your perfectly extraordinarily well-executed plans.

Remember the Super Bowl blackout 2 years ago?

Okay, nobody died, but it still shows how the unexpected can come out of nowhere. And do you really think the advertisers didn’t want to kill some people after that?

Do you have any idea what kind of planning goes into a Super Bowl? It’s freaking bonkers. There’s more security than at the White House (where you can apparently jump the fence and waltz through half the tour area before the Secret […]